Morning in Ozark, Missouri arrived gray and cold. We had sleet by noon today, which put a damper on my desire to borrow a bicycle and ride around town today. It would have been really nice as well, as there are lots of green hills and valleys to treasure, but not so much when the roads are slick and icy. So, I sufficed with the treadmill.
Today, we went ahead and partook in a part of this trip that everyone both looks for and dreads in one: the trip to Lambert's. If you've never heard of Lambert's, you've never experienced real gastronomic excess. If you leave Lambert's hungry, you're trying really hard, because they find new and exciting ways to get the food to you.
That starts with the throwed rolls. I don't know why they're called throwed rolls instead of thrown rolls; I'm sure it's a fascinating story. Anyway, about every five minutes, a young man calls out "Hot rolls!", and proceeds to throw them at anyone with a hand raised. They're hot and fluffy, with loads of butter and honey at the tables, and the waitress with the surghum molasses right behind. Oh my stars, they're delicious!
Next come the waitresses bearing bowls of fried potatoes and fried okra to the table. The fried okra sounds disgusting, but they're delicious as well, little fried balls of cornbread batter with okra inside. Keep in mind, at this point, you haven't ordered any food, and could already be well on the way to being stuffed.
Then comes the food. I've ordered their chicken-fried steak each time I've been there, and have been delighted each time. It's huuuuuuuge, at least the size of my head, with a huge portion of mashed potatoes and milk gravy on top, with two servings of "veggies" (choices include a baked potato or white beans).
How did I dare survive this feast with my newfound diet? Well, first thing, as soon as I realized that I would be eating there today, I made sure I didn't eat any carbs or protein, knowing full well that Lambert's would take care of those, and then some. We also went early, giving our bodies lots of time to digest before settling in for the night. I substituted a bowl of steamed baby carrots for the mashed potatoes, and chose green beans for the other side. (OK, I also got pineapple walnut salad, but I gave that to Josh.) I gave some of the steak to Josh, although I wished he had eaten more. And, most importantly, my hand didn't go up every single time the hot roll guy came by.
Make no mistake, I still overate, by a long shot, but it could have been so much worse. Instead of eating a dozen rolls, I only had four. I only had honey on the last one. And I only asked for seconds on the vegetables (Oh yeah, did I mention that all meals are all-you-can-eat? Can you imagine needing more than one chicken-fried steak the size of your head?!?)
We finished eating at 4:00, and it's past 10, and I'm still stuffed. Oy. My stomach is well-stretched for Thanksgiving food, heh.
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