Someday

Listening to: 2006 In Its Right Place - Ladies First

This is a result of some things I've been thinking about all week, culminating in a lesson I taught in Elders' Quorum today. This will get preachy, so if that bothers you, move on.

We all have those "Someday I will ..." things that we consider from time to time. Mine is that someday I will learn to play the acoustic guitar that currently collects dust in my closet. What gets scary is when those "someday" things are more important than that, like "someday I will foster a better relationship with my children" or "someday I will read the scriptures and find out if they're true" or "someday I will forgive my enemy".

Why would that be scary? Because we don't know how many someday's we will get. That point got rammed home for me this week. An acquaintance, someone with a great mind and superior writing skill, and a great friend to many of my friends, died last week suddenly. As I dealt with the loss, I thought of what he left behind. the man had plans, good plans: he was moving to Europe to be with his paramour, he was making inroads in his writing career. Now, he's got no more someday's to make those things happen. That's what hurts most; what could have been?

In the Book of Mormon, here's how it gets laid out:
And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.
Ye cannot say, when ye are brought to that awful crisis, that I will repent, that I will return to my God. Nay, ye cannot say this; for that same spirit which doth possess your bodies at the time that ye go out of this life, that same spirit will have power to possess your body in that eternal world. (Alma 34:33-34)

Here's how it reads: Someday will only get us in trouble is "someday" does not mean "this day". This day is the day to make the changes I want to make in my life. I don't know how many days I have left. Naturally, I hope to have many many more, but the point is, I don't know, so why not live today to its fullest?

With that in mind, here's a few things that I intend to do to get where I know I need to be:

• Start my days with some time to pray and read the scriptures by myself. I'm real good about doing those things with the boys, but I need to do it myself.


• Remember that my boys start their day just as groggy as I do, so don't jump on them in the mornings for little things. I need to be the one setting the tone in the mornings.


• Make sure I'm getting my work done during the day; maybe spend a bit less time playing around on the Internet.


• Invite our neighbors, the ones with whom Jordan has become friends, to our church's Halloween activity, and maybe slip them a pass-along card while I'm at it.


• Stop staying awake until all hours of the night, especially when I know I need to get up at 6:15 every weekday morning.


• And, just for the heck of it, get that darn guitar out of the closet and start practicing my scales again.

Discomfort times 12

Listening to: Underworld - Second Toughest In The Infants

I'm a happily married man; I have been for almost sixteen years now. I've not once had a thought of straying. So, why is it that going to buy condoms makes me bust out in shame-blushes, like I'm cheating? Shouldn't I happily saunter up to the counter, slap down my money, and order up my dozen?

Tonight, I got word that we were out, and that I should probably get some more. Being dutiful above all else, I went to the nearest mega-lo-mart.

Here's where my Y chromosome betrays me; I won't ask for directions. So I spend about five minutes wandering around the pharmacy section, looking for condoms fruitlessly. Finally, I get spotted. Of course it's not a male, but a cute lil' pharmacy assistant. The resulting conversation went like this:

"May I help you find something?"
(to shoes)"Yes. I'm looking for condoms."
"Sorry?"
(slightly louder, to the counter) "I'm looking for condoms."
"Sorry, I can't hear you."
"I'M LOOKING FOR CONDOMS!"
"Oh ... hold on ... (to pharmacist) WHERE ARE THE CONDOMS?"
"They're over that way, behind the hair color."
(I start walking that direction)
"Wait! May I help you find them?"
(to self) "No, I can't think of anything I want less right now."
(out loud) "No thanks."

Seriously, do they train pharmacy assistants to do that for sick kicks? Thanks for making me feel like a pervert. Sheesh!

Darth Vader is gone

Listening to: Shiny Toy Guns - We Are Pilots

For those first reading this, I've recently lost a great deal of weight. People ask me constantly if I have more energy, and I most certainly do. I recently discovered another health benefit that has me very excited.

Due to my excess weight, I had developed weight-induced sleep apnea. For those unfamiliar, that means that from time to time at night, my windpipe would get pinched shut, forcing me to wake up to breathe again. It's just as unpleasant as it sounds. I would snore in the worst way; my roommates would either shake me awake, ask me to wait to go to bed until they were sound asleep, or in the worst case throw water on me.

My wife tolerated my snoring for a long time, but it got progressively worse and worse, until she had finally had enough and kicked me out of the bed. We spent four years not sleeping together, which led to four years of not doing other things together.

In addition, my job performance was suffering. Since I never really slept well, I was constantly tired, and would fall asleep at work during conference calls or periods of slow time. I would have to stand around or pace during meetings with the lights dimmed, or I would fall asleep. Unfortunately, that happened in front of managers enough times that I was warned to get it straightened out. That drove me (slowly) to go to the doctor to see what was the matter. I was put in a sleep test where they put a hundred different probes and other things on me, and finally diagnosed me with acute sleep apnea.

My therapy was to sleep with a machine called a CPAP, short for Constant Positive Air Pressure, that would force air into my lungs, keeping my windpipe open enough that I could sleep through the night. What a godsend! After getting accustomed to having a mask around my nose, I was able to sleep without snoring. My energy and mood immediately improved, as did my work performance. It didn't matter that my voice sounded funny or that I looked like Darth Vader with the mask on.

Fast forward to this week. My mask no longer fits properly, since I've lost so much weight, so I would have to fuss with it all night, making it more trouble than it was worth. My wife finally suggested that I try sleeping without the mask, to see if I still snored.

The results at present are mixed. My wife noted that I no longer snore, which is good. I feel much more tired, though, and don't sleep as soundly. It may just be a matter of getting accustomed to breathing properly while sleeping, instead of letting the CPAP essentially breathe for me. Stay tuned ...

Start Here

Listening to: Autokat - Late Night Shopping

I've been meaning to gather my thoughts on the things I have done to get rid of my excess weight. Now, I've never had a problem finding a forum, or support, at my other homes on the Internet. That's not really the point, though. This just seems like a nice place for it. I can always cross-post if it works out well.

Who knows? Maybe I'll even try to get it published. That's kinda putting the cart before the horse, though.


There's one book (well, the one non-scripture book) that I read without fail every year, so I stay in contact to it. That book is Scott Adams' "The Dilbert Principle." I think it helps me keep a arms-length distance from some of the BS in the workplace that management tries to shove down our throats. For me, this is especially helpful, as I tend to be very idealistic, and "The Dilbert Principle" helps me keep a safe level of cynicism.
Anyway, in the beginning of "The Dilbert Principle", Scott says that reading a book on office politics from an academic is like reading a book on cannibalism from someone that read the book "Alive", and then reassures us by informing us that he has chewed a leg or two.
Why do I bring up such a disgusting image? Is that the key, that I forced myself to think of cannibalism while eating? Heavens, no! Let's face it; there are a LOT of weight loss books out there, and so many of them come from doctors and personal trainers. How do they know what it's like to be fat? Have they studied it in labs, or have they lived it? Have they felt the paralyzing torpor that propels so many people to remain on the couch, shoveling in salty snacks? Have they pushed away from the table, knowing full well that they should have stopped eating two platefuls of food ago?
Well, in that sense, rest assured that I've chewed a leg or two in my life.

Put your shoulder to the wheel

Listening to: Radiohead - Hail To The Thief

One thing you'll see here is my thoughts and feelings about my faith. It's a BIG part of my life, although that hasn't come through my MOG posts. I also never felt comfortable sharing that side of me in Multiply posts, mostly due to the OVERWHELMING anti-religious tone from a number of people, mostly contacts of contacts. Here, I feel no such burden. I'll understand if these posts don't get as many comments. But if you do read and don't understand something, please ask; I realize that we Mormons have our own vocabulary, so some things may not completely make sense.

When we moved from Colorado to Kansas almost four years ago, we knew full well that we would be asked to serve in church a lot. When Melissa's parents lived in Medicine Lodge, KS, we would visit them knowing that we would have to teach classes on Sunday, even though we didn't live there. There are so few members of the Church here that if you have a pulse and a testimony, you're called to serve.

That has proven true, more than I ever thought possible. Melissa currently serves as an early-morning seminary instructor. That means she gets up every morning at 5:00 AM (yes, there is a 5 AM), arrives at church, and teaches a lesson to high school kids for about 50 minutes. EVERY Monday through Friday. I would never have thought it possible, since she's such a night-owl, but she's doing great at it, and the kids love her. Of course, she comes home and goes back to sleep until noon, so it's not like she's not well-rested. She's also becoming quite the expert on the Old Testament, which is the course of study this year.

As for me, instead of one huge calling, I have four callings of various sizes. First, I've been our ward finance clerk for 2 1/2 years now, meaning that I'm responsible for all funds that come in or go out. I get audited every six months, and I've not had a problem yet. Second, I'm one of two stake technology specialists, meaning I go fix computers for the Lord as well as my employer. ;) Third, I teach twice a month in elders' quorum. Finally, I was recently called to teach our youth about becoming better missionaries, three times a month.

So, if you have noticed that I don't MOG much on Saturdays, it's not because I'm watching football on TV, although that is possibly true too. Likely, I'm studying for a lesson.

Stepping out

So this is a Blogger post ... not too bad, so far.

About the title ... I thought EMCD Online was so very clever (good one Erin), but I think I'm tiring of being anything evil. So now it's Angelic, even though I'm far from angelic myself. Really; just ask Melissa. ;)

I imagine that many of you that are reading this are familiar with me from MOG, Multiply, or both. That's cool; for now, I'll be using this place for things I feel like spouting that don't really mesh with the aims of MOG or Multiply.

Have no fear, though; it's the same person you met (and hopefully liked) from MOG. Just more so. :)