We found out recently that there's a young woman in our oldest son's school that's pregnant. If he were in high school, that wouldn't be so off-putting. He's not, though; he's in 8th grade. He said that the young woman is 15, but still, yikes!!!
I greatly worry about the effect her choice will have, not only on her life, but on that of her baby as well. Our son informed us that where she had been fairly popular, that she has been well ostracized. Now, I've asked him to not shun her, but he's been told since he could wrap his head around the concept, to save himself for marriage. I mean, he gets upset when people swear around him. (Yes, just like dear ol' dad.) He's never had to deal with anyone who's done something like that before. I'm curious to see how this works out.
I was chatting with someone else about a similar issue (Britney may be pregnant again?!? EGAD!), and this song popped in my head. It fits here as well.
The lyrics just finish it off:
You've done too much,
Much too young
Now you're married with a kid
When you could be having fun with me
Oh no, no gimme no more pickni
You've done too much,
Much too young
Now you're married with a son
When you should be having fun with me
We don't want, we don't want
We don't want no more pickni
Ain't he cute?
No he ain't
He's just another burden
On the welfare state
You've done too much,
Much too young
Now you're married with a kid
When you could be having fun with me
No gimme, no gimme,
No gimme no more pickni
Call me immature
Call me a poser
I'd love to spread manure in your bed of roses
Don't want to be rich
Don't want to be famous
But I'd really hate to have the same name as you
(You silly moo)
You've done too much,
Much too young
Now you're married with a kid
When you could be having fun with me
Gi we de birth control, we no want no pickni
You've done too much,
Much too young
Now you're chained to the cooker
Making currant buns for tea
Oh no, no gimme no more pickni
Ain't you heard of the starving millions
Ain't you heard of contraception
Do you really a program of sterilization
Take control of the population boom
It's in your living room
Keep a generation gap
Try wearing a cap!
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4 comments:
a similar thing happened recently in our world. a friend of julia's, or more accurately an ex-friend (she decided julia was too "innocent and goodie-goodie" and broke off the friendship) found herself pregnant. she is sixteen years old, and so very young (and not just in age numbers, but emotionally and life-experience-wise). i met her quite a few times and always felt she had a lot to learn in the world, and put on a pretty tough mask on that probably had stories and scars attached to it.
when she first ended her friendship with julia i was angry at her for hurting my daughter. but, when julia told me that the girl was pregnant all i felt was sad. i wished that she'd been like other friends of julia's who feel comfortable talking and confiding in me; i wish i'd had the opportunity to be there for her more.
but, the best thing that we can honestly do in these situations is put our judgements (which we all have, no matter if we are loathe to admit it, or not) and hope for the best. there are people in this, and people are all about possibility. and i am just hoping that whatever the outcome, in the end, that it will be full of hope and possibility for these girls and these babies.
on that note, i think the advice you gave your son is right; and perhaps there is a lesson here of tolerance and understanding that other's may not make the choices you do, but that your choices are still vital and important to you.
That part about putting our judgments aside is perfect. Once they've made that choice, and are already dealing with the consequences thereof, the only thing we need to do hope for the best, and love them the best we can.
The thing is, doing that, instead of pointing the finger of scorn, does wonders to turn things around. We just got a wedding invitation from a young woman in our church. We've known their family since we moved here; they're really good people. Well, she went off to college, made some poor choices, and came home pregnant.
We tried very hard to treat her no different than we had before, maybe even tried harder to say "Hi" and see how she was doing. In fact, despite her apparent discomfort, I don't recall anyone giving her too much grief.
Sure enough, she gave her baby up for adoption, and not long after had found a nice young man willing to spend time & eternity with her. They're getting married in the temple in two weeks.
And finally, huzzah for kids that have decided to stay "innocent and goodie-goodie" in this society. Morgan hasn't lost any friends yet, but it's a matter of time. And huzzah to good parents. Every time we talk about our children, I'm inspired to do better by your example. Thank you. <3
julia struggles with choices all the time, but she is also very comfortable with being who she is. she is good at school, and though she let herself falter last year (some of it due to trying to fit in with the cool kids she had befriended), she has chosen to be the a student again. she is also adamant about not being ready to have sex, which considering the majority of the girls she knows, it is not the popular decision. she is also very open minded when it comes to other people's decisions, though, and is the first to defend others who are attacked for their beliefs/styles/choices. i did good raising her, i think...and i've learned a lot from her, too.
you are inspiring to me, too. <3
From what I know, you did very well raising Julia. I think it would do Morgan good to meet her in April, because I sometimes worry that he does not feel comfortable in his own skin. Alas, that will likely not be happening. I just had to get on him for two D's and an F. :(
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